Gay Penguin is a homosexual penguin. He is incapable of speaking, of signing laws and bills, and perhaps even incapable of abstract thought. However, in retrospect, the past four years of American Leadership have been so poor that Gay Penguin would have easily been the best choice for America.
Gay Penguins are coming out. Just recently, two penguins at the Central Park Zoo in Manhattan have celebrated six years of monogamy, and zoo keepers have given them an egg to raise, which hatched succesfully. While Christian Fundamentalists rally around Constitutional Amendments against Gay Marriage, Gay Penguins are proving that God has no problems with Gay Marriage or Gay Adoption.
But what about Gay Penguin as a Presidential Nominee? Why would he do a better job than George W Bush? Gay Penguin could not have signed the PATRIOT ACT, could not have appointed John Ashcroft, could not have invaded a foreign nation, alienated our allies, or embarked on a dangerous and divisive cultural war.
Gay Penguin, at worst, would have kept the Government in stasis. The Kyoto Treaty would stay signed, and America would likely be participating in the International Criminal Court.
The air would be cleaner, fewer jobs would have been lost, and America would not be in the midst of a perpetual war. Osama Bin Laden would still be at large, as he is now. Saddam Hussein's threat to Americans would remain as it is now- non existant!
Imagine a world where America has been ruled by a Gay Penguin since 2000: where would you be?
Read the whole thing here: Gay Penguin For President